Awkward Situation

Earlier this evening Jakob came home from the neighbor's house and said, 'Father Charlie wants to talk to you'. Ok....I am wondering what for, so I jokingly ask Jakob what he did...he said, 'Nothing'. So, I get over there, he is sitting on the front porch in a bath robe, and as I walked up the sidewalk he said to Jakob to come over to him, and then he said, 'Sit on my lap like you did earlier.' (Now I am feeling uncomfortable...what is he getting at? Is he trying to say that Jakob did something inappropriate? Had 'Father Charles' been inappropriate?) Well, Jakob proceeds to climb on his lap, then Father Charles put Jakob's head on his shoulder, and any time Jakob would 'twitch' his feet a little Father Charles would softly smack them, and say something like, 'don't do that', or 'stop moving'. Ok...I am REALLY not liking this, by this time. Jakob seemed really subdued, actually.

I decided that I didn't much like having Jakob sitting on his lap anymore (not that I could do anything about the previous long conversation Jakob had already had on his lap.) So I sent him in to play, with the neighbor kid, where Father Charles is staying. Father Charles kept on saying how wonderful he thought Jakob was, and that they had such a neat conversation, and some of the questions he asked were beyond profound. That he had even asked about the trinity, etc. Now you KNOW someone is leading a 5 year old into certain conversations if you think they are asking/talking about things like the trinity, etc. He also kept asking Jakob if he or his family were Catholic, or had any Catholic background. I said that we weren't, and he asked where my ancestory came from...I said mostly England.

Well, about 5 or 10 min into our conversation he taps on the front window, to get the kids attention inside. He has Jakob come out, and proceeds to call him over to sit on his lap, AGAIN. Doing the same softly smacking his feet when he moved them. Well, this time I was a little blunt about things, I said to Jakob, 'Are you feeling a little uncomfortable right now?' He said that yes he was. I told him that he could get down if he wanted to. Father Charles said, 'Go on over to your Mom, she will make you feel comfortable' (the way he said it seemed like he was talking down to me a bit, like I had put words into Jakobs mouth) Jakob came over, and said he wanted to go inside and play again, I told him it was time to go home, and that we needed to get dessert and have Family Night. So he took off on his bike. Father Charles then proceeds to tell me that he was offended by what I had just did. That I was reading into things. I told him that I just could tell that Jakob was uncomfortable. He said that Jakob hadn't been uncomfortable the whole time before when they were talking, and that I was just 'deciding' for him how he felt.

Well, I didn't really know how to continue on with this conversation...I also really don't do well with confrontation, or saying the right thing at the right time. So, I glanced over at their dog, and said 'hi Cookie'. Father Charles 'called me' on it, and asked why I was looking at the dog? That he was talking to me. I said that my mind was going 100 different directions at that point, and that I had kiddos at home, my hubby was home from work, etc. He said, 'your house isn't burning down' (ok...so this guy REALLY doesn't have a family...to think that at any time you can sit on someones front porch and just shoot the breeze, with no planning ahead. Especially such an awckward conversation.) Well, I told him that we were just finishing up dinner, and that we had Family Night. Right then someone drove up and distracted him (thank goodness) so I said 'bye' and high tailed it on out of there.

I get home, I am basically fuming...but I didn't want to freak Jakob or Hubby out. So I sit down with Jakob and calmly ask him how he is doing, and how he had felt earlier when he was having a conversation with Father Charles. He said that he felt uncomfortable, and didn't really want to sit there for so long. And that they just kept talking. I asked what they talked about, and he said he didn't really remember. I asked if it had bothered him that he had kept on making him sit still, he said that it had.

It is really hard to figure out exactly what a child is thinking/feeling in a certain situation, without leading the conversation. We talked about what to do when we feel uncomfortable in a situation, and that you NEVER have to stay somewhere that doesn't feel right, and that Jesus would help to know in your heart if something was good or bad. (This led into a conversation of 'good touch, bad touch', the following morning. I kissed Jakob on the forehead and asked him if that was 'good or bad' he said good. I said, what if Nathan ((a friend of his)) kissed you on the forehead. He said 'bluck'. I told him that whenever he felt 'bluck' or 'uncomfortable' to get away, and to let Mom or Dad know.)

Jon also told Jakob that he NEVER had to sit on Father Charlie's lap again, and that he didn't want him to. We have also decided that he isn't going over to this friends house without me or Jon along. Phil (Jon's Dad) said that if we have all the fun stuff at our house, then everyone will want to come over here to play, thus more able to keep a better watch on the kiddos, and somewhat protect them from some of these potential situations.

My poor kiddos! Having to deal in this often morally upside down world. We will just have to do all that we can to creat a safe haven.